Sports & Politics
“It’s just been announced that a second, brand-new coal mine, where they’re going to take out clean coal — meaning, they’re taking out coal. They’re going to clean it — is opening in the state of Pennsylvania, the second one.”
— POTUS
“Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me ‘old,’ when I would NEVER call him ‘short and fat?’ Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend — and maybe someday that will happen!” — POTUS
“The greatest danger we face today is the short-tempered, super-sensitive, impulsive dictator who’s got his finger on the nuclear button. And then we’ve got Kim Jong-Un on the other side…”
“Which group is larger: the number of politicians and ill-behaved men who’ve resigned this year or the people who threatened to leave the country if Trump were elected but then didn’t follow through?”
“How come everyone makes a big deal of a black QB in the NFL but no one says a thing about how it’s mostly over-sized black guys protecting white QBs?”
“Dude, it’s simple. You know you’re a bro when you do 25 minutes of weightlifting, maybe 5 minutes of cardio, and then GTFO…”
“If your primary motivation for exercise is to look good rather than feel healthy, you’re unlikely to sustain regular workouts for long, especially if you’ve got high metabolism you can abuse.”
Money & (Non)sense
“Any day you see a big move in the markets, just drag that Bloomberg chart back about a year and you’ll calm right back down.”
“I have a lot of questions about the values in our society that enable them to be so rich and others to not be, but they are nice people.” — Uneasy Street
“How do I describe PE… I guess it’s like a vampire that hovers around a hospital full of sick patients looking to suck some blood out of the least sick ones…”
Question: “Is there anything Uber hasn’t done to show that it’s a bad startup?”
Answer: “Why yes… make money.”
“So, can Zuckerberg and the Winklevoss twins just exchange bitcoins for Facebook shares and finally let bygones be bygones?”
“If you’ve never questioned the logic of maximizing shareholder value, then you don’t fully understand the impetus of our growing income inequality problem.”
“If you’re really serious about cutting costs, just install credit card machines at the bathroom stalls. Once your 5–10 minutes are up, doors fly open ready or not. That’s 2 birds with 1 stone: raise money and less company time wasted.”
The most quotable blog of 2017: Juicero CEO defends company’s useless juicer
Background reading: Juice packs can be hand-squeezed without hi-tech machine
“To all the highest earners who complain about taxes, I’d tell them they always have the option of earning less by working ‘less.’ You know, maybe go fight fires. But how many people would actually take that deal when they know on some level this is the system that helped get them to where they are?”
“I challenge you to commit a totally selfless act: that is, one that makes others, and not you, better off, and leaves you feeling no better about yourself.”
Generational ‘gaps’
“Edibles, edibles, edibles! Get your brownies, candy, chocolate, edibles! — guy next to unmarked van near Penn Station
“Of course I know what edibles are. It means Edible Arrangements!”
“I bet you more than half of this office don’t know who wrote the song ‘Walk This Way’.”
“You want the secret to happiness? It just depends on whether you’re young or old: children live in ignorance and adults live in denial.”
“The Floppy Disk Icon means ‘save’ for a whole generation of people who have never seen one.” — Scott Hanselman
